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Best Black Prize

Popping up all over the internet has been the question of whether white women are winning in the love game. Here’s my take on the black/white women interracial dating dynamic. I watched a comedy show once where a white comedian asked the all-black crowd why if there was a fat white girl at the party that no white guy would want, that the brothers made a beeline in her direction. The audience tittered uncomfortably but it was a legitimate question. What this comedian really wanted to know was why the white man’s trash was the black man’s treasure.  He wanted an answer. I wanted one too.  It’s been my observation that some black men will meet and marry in white (i.e. Kirstie Alley) what they wouldn’t consider dating in black (i.e. Precious – Gabby Sidibe). Due to racism, bias, brainwashing and residual slave self-loathing do some black men have a complex?  Is everything white given an instant upgrade? There seems to be an argument to support this. In contrast, I think white men are more discriminating when it comes to dating black women. When a white man marries a sister he gets the best. There will be no three-hundred pound black girl for him. She will be the best that Africa has bred. She will be the most beautiful, Iman – supermodel; the smartest, Maya Angelou – world renowned author, and the most accomplished, Susan Rice – Ambassador to the United Nations. When they pick from the cocoa tree they pick the best fruit. When you see a white man with a woman of color you better believe she will have something going on. For him to forgo the Cindy Crawford’s and Gisele Bundchen’s of the world, that black woman will be worth more than her weight in gold. When his friends see her coming and wonder why he chose her, they will know within two minutes why she was the one. She will be nothing short of exceptional.

Men thrive on competition. It’s an ego thing. They’re always after whatever everyone else wants. It’s uplifting for them to win the prize.  They devalue the lack of challenge associated with things they consider easy to get. That’s why they like sports. How this relates to black women is simple. Life is a competition. As far as some black men are concerned sisters are “easy pickins.” They can get one anytime. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.  It’s not like there aren’t millions of them dateless. It isn’t like anyone else wants them. The statistics that say that black women are less married, and perpetually single that we’ve read, they’ve read those articles also. This puts the brothers in a power position from day one. He’s wanted by black women and other women from varying walks of life. He’s on a high. Black women have to shake things up. We love black men but we cannot wait for them. While they’re out dating the United Colors of Benetton some sisters are getting old and grey waiting for their dark knight to appear. This is not the way to even the odds.  Competition is the key. Black women, broaden your circle and your sight. The starting bid for your affection is high and men of all races are welcome to participate. If love is war, black men best enter the competition with their eye on the best black prize.

To win in the love game is competition the key?

*Excerpt taken from the upcoming book Black Girl’s Guide for Winning at Love & Life.

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About the Author

Stephanie Small, Sistah & Superhero! Author, Educator, Personal Growth Coach & wannabe Superhero! Author of Black Girl's Guide to Winning at Love & Life! (Available on Amazon.com, B&N and Kobo)

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