Happy Valentine's Day

Back in the day if a man loved a woman he gave her father a horse, a cow and two mules. In them days, the price of your “PRECIOUS” to quote Gollum, cost a damn sight more than some chocolates and a Hallmark card.  Men understood that for the benefit of a lady’s time he had to put in some work. He earned her affection through the persistent pursuit of her heart. Fast forward a century and now some men have forgotten what love is about. On Valentine’s, which is the most romantic day of the year, stats show that most couple’s end up succumbing to what I call a Total Eclipse of the Heart. To translate Bonnie Tyler’s song into layman terms, it means that love fades to black. When women should be shaking the sheets on the 14^th, instead, most are showing their men the curb. I don’t have a Ph.D. in Sexual Healing but there is a reason for the fallout.

Consider if you will, that while women no longer require a bride’s price for matrimony, their love still comes at a price. Depending on the woman, the value they put on their love varies. Some require a house and a ring while others sell themselves cheap. For the unfortunate latter, the value they set on their emotions is worth no more than a Valentine’s Day Happy Meal. For these sad sisters, they endure a year’s worth of bad treatment with the hopes that their men, for at least one day, will show tangible proof of their affection. They forget the knucklehead behavior he’s already demonstrated for 364 days straight. They believe, as true optimists do, that for one day in February he’ll step up to the plate. There will be flower petals on the bed, dinner bubbling on the stove and two dozen red roses delivered to her job for all her friends to see. With so much expectation put on a single day, the world must seem like it’s coming to an end when dude can’t even produce the “I love you, Baby” heart balloon.  The disappointment is so profound that she lashes out in the only way she knows. The clang of steel is heard as she puts her VA-jay-jay on lock down. She follows this up by sending all his calls straight to voicemail. The final act of retaliation is to delete the, “that’s my boo calling” ringtone.  She’s pissed and someone has to pay. I say why waste the energy? Yes, as women we’re entitled to our hurt, but Valentine’s day is not a test. Whether your man gets access to your VA-jay-jay should not be based on a calendar. Show me a woman who gets good love all year round and I will show you one who could care less about the 14th. Love has no timetable.

Is your VA-jay-jay placed on house arrest if your man fails the Valentine’s Day test?