The Super is not a fan of bear cubs, puppies, baby rabbits or anything requiring training, constant attention and care, but whoa Nelly! Recently I saw a picture of J.LO and her boy toy Casper Smart and I had to do a double take. When Jenny from the Block was with Mark Anthony she looked miserable and morose.  Fast forward a scandalously short period of time and Jenny looks happy and hot. Wasn’t she supposed to follow the script? While her ex moved on to a much younger woman after their split, wasn’t she was supposed to clutch desperately to her youth while growing old, out of shape and alone? In the new millennium women are fighting back. They say that 40 is the new 20 and women of a certain age are refusing to languish man-less and dateless while they say goodbye to their youth.

Men like their women tender and now women like their men tasty. Madonna, J.Lo and Halle Berry to name a few are showing older women how it’s done. It’s time for the big payback. Now older woman are going for the fun factor by ditching men with erectile dysfunction and finding themselves little boy toys to love. Will these relationships last? I can’t say but I commend the cougars with their young men for not rolling up into a ball and calling it quits. If their fit and fabulous with abs and butts of steel, then why not show these young men what they’re working with? Looking good and feeling good is the best revenge.

While the Super likes her men somewhat seasoned I can acknowledge that there are benefits to dating young men. Such as:

• They say 40% of men over 40 have erectile dysfunction issues. Young men? Not so much. They are mini Stallions and they are ready to gallop at full speed.
• They have stamina for days. Can someone say first, second and third round?
• They are fun and remind the serious career woman how to let loose.
• They are open to new things and everything is a thrill.
• They are willing to be tutored, taught and educated and are not yet set in their ways.
• They are good for the ego. When they think their women look good they tell her so often.
• They are nice to look at. They are young, firm and fabulous from all angles.

The Super is no celebrity and is not in possession of a body that won’t quit. If I was, would I date a man young enough to be my nephew? Can’t say, but I do believe that being happy keeps women looking as fresh as little girls.

Is it better to ride an aging Stallion or break in a fresh new pony? Like men, should every Cougar catch and capture something wild and young?

Can marrying the wrong person ruin your life? The Masked Crusader, the Super Sistah discusses her new blog post, Death by Ex. While reflecting on the death of Whitney Houston she asks her readers whether loving the wrong man can be a woman’s downfall? Post a response here. R.I.P Whitney, we’ll miss you.

the Super Sistah on Whitney Houston

Watch this video on YouTube.

Whitney we'll miss you.

Can the wrong man ruin your life? Yeah, he can! Recently Pop Diva Whitney Houston went home to meet her Lord. The lyrics, “I get so emotional, baby, every time I think of you” was set on replay when I heard.  I don’t pretend to know what goes on in the personal lives of celebrities, but as far as downward spirals go, I think Whitney’s began shortly after her husband put his diamond on her left. 

My ex-boyfriend is a pain in the ass, a pain in the neck, just a pain.  No matter what I do I can’t get rid of him. If I was a dragon, the mere mention of his name would be enough for me to breathe fire and burn his aggravating ass to a crisp.  I don’t hate him. If I see him I wouldn’t hit him with my car, just a light tap on the shins with the front bumper; nothing that would do any permanent harm.  All I want is to be left alone and in peace. We’ve both moved on but he’s determined to keep our lives intertwined which makes me want to scream and show him my fist minus the four fingers; yeah, I want him to f*%# off.  The fact that he can still make me angry makes me wonder if the relationship didn’t leave me with irreparable scars. Am I damaged? Does my life read like an old Danity Kane song?

Unlike the song lyrics I’m well aware that no man can fix me. I’m a product of my past. The lessons I’ve learned about myself from old relationships live on. If I want to be happy and whole I must forgive myself for yesterday’s mistakes. I think I have….sometimes.  The problem is that if my ex still has the power to make me angry doesn’t that mean that I’m damaged? If I was an electronic devise I would be refurbished. Meaning I look good as new but previously I’ve had some difficulty. It would mean that to all but the discerning eye, I would seem fresh with all my original packaging. I look sellable but my warranty is a lie.

The reason people are reluctant to buy used cars or electronics is that although the exterior looks good, the inside, the heart of the machine has a past. The product has suffered from previous wear and tear. People are no different. When we have experienced something traumatic we are tempted to pretty ourselves up, slap on a new paint job and put ourselves back on the shelf.  But the tag of refurbished or previously owned was made for a reason.  Manufacturers must include this disclaimer because it warns the new owner to buy at their own risk. All is not what it seems. It warns that the product may suffer from some inconsistencies and problems because of the previous owner’s neglect.  I’m fixing myself, dusting off the past and going in for regular soul servicing.  I’m not new but I’m worthy of a test drive. If you don’t believe me I have my carFAX.

Did a previous owner leave you damaged but you’re passing yourself off as brand new?

Are you damaged?

They say inspiration comes from strange places. Don’t I know it?  I was recently inspired by an 18 year old pop star? Don’t ask how, but I found myself listening to a Miley Cyrus’ track called, The Climb.  The lyrics go like this:

There’s always gonna be another mountain. I’m always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be a uphill battle. Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose. Ain’t about how fast I get there. Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb.

I was tapping my feet as she sang and then realized that someone might actually see me so stopped abruptly.  Not only is it offensive to my BET and R &B sensibilities, but being a fan of little Miley is not good for this black girl’s rep.  Only under extreme threats of water torture combined with fingernail removal will I admit that I liked the song and that the lyrics resonated with me.  Confiscate my IPod if you want to; I have destroyed all evidence that the song ever existed sandwiched between Bennie Man and Jay-Z.  I’ll admit to nothing but this.

In my life I’m always pushing, shoving, climbing and scaling walls. I’m always falling, losing and being knocked down. I get up each time, brush myself off and start the process all over again. Sometimes I’m moving quickly and everything seems right in the world.  Other times I’m getting nowhere fast.  I continually push the boulder up a steep mountain just for it to roll back down and crush my toes and my dreams. Like Christine Aguilera I want to have a Genie in a Bottle so I can make a wish. I’d wish for the life I want, the success I crave and for all my desires to see the light. I understand of course that life doesn’t always work this way. What little pot smoking Miley taught me is that the journey is just as important as the destination.  It’s important to celebrate little successes. It’s crucial to take a moment to relish every single victory. Every milestone should be celebrated and every goal reached must be savored. Don’t lose sight of all the progress you’ve made in your life just because you have yet to reach the mountain top. Remember it’s not how fast you get there. It’s the climb.

Have you taken the time to celebrate your achievements lately?