Recently, some man up in Aurora, Colorado went out of his mind and killed 12 people while maiming and wounding 58 others at the premiere of the movie the Dark Knight. Now everyone knows that the Super considers herself a superhero but that doesn’t mean I intend to jump off any high buildings. In contrast, James Holmes allegedly woke up one morning convinced that he was a villain and took machine gun and disguise in hand and went out to prove to the world that evil does exist. Who is to blame? Some say he was an adult and responsible for his actions while others insist that his parents raised a monster and set him loose to kill and destroy. Who’s right? When people die the answer really doesn’t matter. I say this while wondering about the children I have yet to produce and while thinking about the world that they’ll inherit.

For the kids that exist now and for the parents that are guiding them into adulthood, I question how responsible we are as a society for the actions of our offspring? Where does nature (inherent, genetic predisposition) begin and where does nurture (environmental factors and personal experience) end?  If you’re a parent and you raise a child into adulthood with all the necessary moral characteristics to succeed and later that child discards it all and turns to massacre and mayhem, as a parent, are you to blame? Do ordinary households breed and create presidents and world leaders as well as killers and convicts? As a boy did Holmes run around setting cats on fire while his parents did nothing to see to his psychiatric health? The alternative is that he is what he seems which is an articulate and well-educated man who harbored the killing gene inside.

Nature vs. Nurture: as a society we accept praise and adulation for the superior achievements of our children when they are scholars and Olympians doing good. When adult children do unspeakable acts of violence, should the reverse be the same?

Maybe wearing a dominatrix mask or crime fighting disguise was not the best way to sell success to my audience or get my point across. My friends openly mocked me and told me my persona was absurd.  Why would a grown professional woman of color run around in a Halloween costume? The consensus was that I must be attention seeking, crazy or everything in between.  I was none of the above but it was my persona. It was me. It was how I felt about myself inside.  So despite what anyone else said, I went ahead and became who I was born to be –Super.  I attached the Sistah to the name because that was another important part of my identity. The Super  Sistah was born and my voice was heard.

Part of getting ahead is knowing who you are. No one can achieve any type of success without having a strong sense of identity. Lots of people let the world, their friends and their family define their identities. They’re only mommy, wife, sister, friend, co-worker, bum, felon, fat or failures.  Not me. I was Super Sistah and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me who I should be. I gave myself a name and identified my super powers. I was a writer, educator and success coach. These powers were my gift to the world.  I used them to propel people to new heights by motivating them to reclaim their lives regardless of failures and adversity.  When you break bad habits or behaviors sometimes the process hurts.  I do it without flinching, coddling or telling people what they want to hear.  A flurry of soothing platitudes never helped anybody get to where they need to be.  The truth hurts.

If you have a dream, a desire, a destiny or a handicap, a hurdle or a problem, you must first surrender fear, destroy any defeatist mentality and claim your name and your identity.  This is the first step before anything can be achieved.

I’m the Super Sistah and I believe that every sistah is super.  So what are your powers? Tell me your superhero name and identity?

Who’s the woman behind the mask? In cyberspace there’s a new masked crusader, defeatist destroyer, fear fighter, personal growth coach and tough love devotee. She won’t always tell you what you want to hear but she’ll tell you what’s necessary to reach new heights and defeat any personal human frailty that keeps your feet soldered to the ground.  Not all mortals are superheroes but all are meant to be. Discover what’s holding you back from ascending.  the Super  Sistah – the masked heroine is here.   Be Super. Watch Yourself Soar.

The Super Sistah blog is about personal growth, life and moments of randomness that inspire us all to either soar or hit the ground.